"The power of the force has stopped you, you hosers!" & Other Observations from our Northern Neighbor
21 Comments Published by Carrie M on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 6:44 PM.
Greetings from Canada! I've been here since Thursday on a business trip, and let me tell you. I'm not in Kansas anymore. It's a strange place, this Canada. It's like being in the states...but not. Everyone here speaks English, but with a funny accent. And not a sexy accent like the British one. The city looks like a typical American city, but I don't recognize the names on the buildings mostly. Other random observations:
- People really do end their statements with 'eh?' sometimes. Which makes me want to add "take off, you hoser!"
- When I flip through the channels at dawn o'clock, I usually end up watching a large French-speaking puppet bear with very expressive eyebrows. I don't speak French.
- Canadians are big on recycling, so I constantly see a bin that says "Bottles & Cans". Consequently, I constantly have Beck's "Where It's At" in my head. This would be okay if I liked the song.
- Canadian coffee shops don't understand the concept of iced coffee. I ordered my usual yesterday (except with regular vanilla, I figured I'd try not to confuse anyone with the sugar-free request) at a non-Starbucks. They wrote down my order on the bottom of a large paper cup. The 'barista' looked at the owner confusedly, and she said she'd make it. She got the large clear cup and then asked me if I wanted it slushy or over ice. Iced apparently doubles as our version of a frappacino.
- My iced latte did not taste good.
- Victoria Day is to Canadians what Yom Kippur is to Jews. Or at least that's how I imagine it. It's holy in that EVERYthing shuts down. God save the queen and all that. I'm surprised the Canadians are allowed to eat. Oh, but there's fireworks. I'm guessing that's not part of Yom Kippur. Maybe Rosh Hoshanna? (Jane and Arjewtino will probably smack me the next time I see them)
- Canada uses dollars, but the currency looks like British pounds. They even have one dollar coins, which is a very British thing to me. Still no British accent!
- I feel kinda slutty here in a Canada. In my job, I see a lot of different people from a lot of different places and I have said to myself at least 5 times, "I'd totally hook up with him." But I haven't. Curses.
- I think I may kinda like one of my quasi-coworkers. I haven't decided if it's inappropriate yet.
- Getting up at 4 am blows. Oh wait, that's not specific to when I'm in Canada.
**Added Wednesday, 5/23**
- Every commercial I see in Canada seems to have the word "Canadian" slapped in it somewhere. Like "DOT - Canada's best furniture store!" or "Canadian Safari Adventure." Is "American" slapped everywhere back home? And I swear, there really is a commercial for the Canadian Safari Adventure.
- There is something up here that makes my makeup stay on practically perfect all day long. I haven't figured out what it is yet.
- I watched the French Bear Puppet Show this morning for like 5 full minutes. I caught "bonjour" and "merci". They kept saying some other word a bunch of times, kinda like PeeWee Herman's word of the day. But there was no yelling after they said the word.
- I saw a McDonald's commercial yesterday for their value menu. But they can't call it a dollar menu, b/c the stuff that's a dollar at American McDonald's cost $1.39 in Canada. Take that, you hosers!
If you're wondering why this post is so loopy, I'm blaming it on sleep deprivation. Don't make me steamroll you. Steamroller!
I'm done now.
- People really do end their statements with 'eh?' sometimes. Which makes me want to add "take off, you hoser!"
- When I flip through the channels at dawn o'clock, I usually end up watching a large French-speaking puppet bear with very expressive eyebrows. I don't speak French.
- Canadians are big on recycling, so I constantly see a bin that says "Bottles & Cans". Consequently, I constantly have Beck's "Where It's At" in my head. This would be okay if I liked the song.
- Canadian coffee shops don't understand the concept of iced coffee. I ordered my usual yesterday (except with regular vanilla, I figured I'd try not to confuse anyone with the sugar-free request) at a non-Starbucks. They wrote down my order on the bottom of a large paper cup. The 'barista' looked at the owner confusedly, and she said she'd make it. She got the large clear cup and then asked me if I wanted it slushy or over ice. Iced apparently doubles as our version of a frappacino.
- My iced latte did not taste good.
- Victoria Day is to Canadians what Yom Kippur is to Jews. Or at least that's how I imagine it. It's holy in that EVERYthing shuts down. God save the queen and all that. I'm surprised the Canadians are allowed to eat. Oh, but there's fireworks. I'm guessing that's not part of Yom Kippur. Maybe Rosh Hoshanna? (Jane and Arjewtino will probably smack me the next time I see them)
- Canada uses dollars, but the currency looks like British pounds. They even have one dollar coins, which is a very British thing to me. Still no British accent!
- I feel kinda slutty here in a Canada. In my job, I see a lot of different people from a lot of different places and I have said to myself at least 5 times, "I'd totally hook up with him." But I haven't. Curses.
- I think I may kinda like one of my quasi-coworkers. I haven't decided if it's inappropriate yet.
- Getting up at 4 am blows. Oh wait, that's not specific to when I'm in Canada.
**Added Wednesday, 5/23**
- Every commercial I see in Canada seems to have the word "Canadian" slapped in it somewhere. Like "DOT - Canada's best furniture store!" or "Canadian Safari Adventure." Is "American" slapped everywhere back home? And I swear, there really is a commercial for the Canadian Safari Adventure.
- There is something up here that makes my makeup stay on practically perfect all day long. I haven't figured out what it is yet.
- I watched the French Bear Puppet Show this morning for like 5 full minutes. I caught "bonjour" and "merci". They kept saying some other word a bunch of times, kinda like PeeWee Herman's word of the day. But there was no yelling after they said the word.
- I saw a McDonald's commercial yesterday for their value menu. But they can't call it a dollar menu, b/c the stuff that's a dollar at American McDonald's cost $1.39 in Canada. Take that, you hosers!
If you're wondering why this post is so loopy, I'm blaming it on sleep deprivation. Don't make me steamroll you. Steamroller!
I'm done now.
Business trips are fun! But maybe not in Canada. So are you saying Canadian men are hott?
I wonder if Canadians thought the movie Canadian Bacon was funny? er, nevermind.
I never pass up the opportunity to pick on my Canadian coworkers. Lord knows they never pass up the opportunity to pick on my southern accent.
Canada scares me. Everyone is really nice. Like, way, way too nice. It's creepy.
I [heart] Canada. It's pretty & clean. And the people and food are awesome. Not to mention it's totally affordable. I've only been to Montreal. Once. But it was amazing. I could totally live there.
I've only been to the Canadian side of the Falls and this random theme park. A deer head butted my sister and laughed until my sides hurt and tears were streaming down my face.
Otherwise Canada seems quite boring, n'est pas? ;]
I also (heart) Canada. But the French Canadians have a funny French accent.
I got two turntables and a microphone...
Is it something up there that makes your makeup stay on, or is it that absence of something that usually makes it come off? Like smog or humidity. That Cananda is much cleaner than or lovely neck of the woods.
gn - a couple of the hotties are from elsewhere (namely one who is smokin' hot, but I just noticed a wedding ring today), but yeah, they're not too shabby up here!
double A - here, it's just Bacon. Seriously. I added "bacon" to my catering order prior to coming, and got Canadian bacon.
ash - it kind of is. Nice, but yeah, I know.
laundro - it is VERY clean here.
gen - a deer head butted your sister? I heard about a squirrel trying to bitch slap one of my coworkers. For reals. He poked the thing with his walkie twice and it turned around and fa-pow!
jo - Just helping the world along with yet another song in their head. I seriously went around all day yesterday singing Special Ed.
eric - That's true, it's not humid here at all. And the air is probably cleaner. Damn you DC, for melting my face off!
This is a funny post to me. I’ve spent some time in Canada myself. What part are you in? I was in Toronto. You right in all of your observations. It’s funny though because even though they have different currency, they will STILL accept the American dollar in their stores. It’s wild. They have another coffee store up there that is just like our Starbucks here but I can’t remember the name of the store. It’s a man’s name or something.
Have fun my dear.
that's too funny about the Beck song... I would totally be the same way. And yes, they do recycle a lot!
I've never been to Canada. Maybe someday. My first instinct is to make fun of them because I watch too much South Park.
I'm just going to give props for Bob & Doug McKenzie, Beck, and Pee Wee Herman references all in the same post.
Had a Canadian in my sales class many moons ago, and we used to get a huge kick out of him saying things like "proh-ject" and "proh-cess" and throwing "eh" onto every third sentence.
And we were in Milwaukee, so it was goofy-accent central, dontchaknow.
It's amazing how different things are even though they are right across the border..I have a friend there and she never ceases to make me laugh..I suppose that's a bad thing as I am laughing at her...
I could never date a Canadian - unless they went to a dialect coach and learned how to say "about" and "sorry" like a proper Yank.
You're home Saturday? I'll give you a shout.
A bunny bit my brother but it's not as good as a deer headbutt.
My parrot, Gandolf, toddled up to a squirrel and said "hi". The squirrel played bongos on Gandolf's head.
diva - really? they'll take the American dollar? too bad I'm all out of cash, both Canadian and American and I can't find an ATM that takes my card.
dcweddingphotog - I'm so sad that I missed you last week at happy hour!
carmen - follow your instincts. But their heads don't split and lift right off when they talk.
wib - thank you. Someone just called me and said, 'so...a lot of people are taking off, eh?' I don't know how I answered him without laughing.
princess - repeat after me, laughing WITH her. we have some pretty goofy accents back home too.
freckledk - word. I'm home on Saturday - thinking about a pool day on Monday at my place if you are interested...
ibid - I'm not sure what's funnier in that sentence. I hope your parrot kicked the squirrel's ass.
I am Canadian, and loved your post! We are pretty nice people and do treat Victoria Day like it's a huge deal (any day where we get off from work is a huge deal here). As for "Canada" being plastered on everything, I never noticed, but I felt the opposite way when I was in the US, feeling like I saw a flag and the word "USA" everywhere I went. Maybe you just notice what's different? Oh, and I say 'eh' sometimes. I don't want to, I try not to, but I do. Ahh, what can you do?
I too am Canadian and found this post to be fantastic!
Yes, Victoria Day is VERY important- mostly just because we cherish our days off. Not that we're that loyal to random dead queens.
Have you seen the 2 dollar coins too?
And to Double-a, yes, we all find Canadian bacon hilarious!
carrie, which city did you go to in Canada?
Toronto. We got the Buffalo ABC station though.
Cool. Toronto is a great city. It's only 1 hour from Buffalo.