Thought I Found True Love, But it was just Underwear* - Craigslist Profiles
26 Comments Published by Carrie M on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 9:07 PM.
After the fun with profiles at greatboyfriends.com yesterday, I'm heading over to Craigslist men seeking women for today's blog fodder. And here we go into Men Seeking Women, age range 27-25:
F Cup or Larger - One word: ouch. That chick definitely doesn't run, or if she does, I'd like to know where she gets her bras.
I want a fire sign for fancy dinners and romance. have a great palette - This 30 year old says he's unpretentious and has an ego but he's self deprecating. Oh, and he'll be taking his dates to Citronelle, CityZen, etc. But she must be an Aries or Sagittarius! Important quality, definitely. Kassyk, my current favorite Sagittarius, if you go out with him, I want a full report!
I always see this guy post on CL - he seems good looking enough. So I can't imagine that he's not getting any hits, although he's adverse to the comma: "Hello I just got out of a relationship so I'm just looking to meet ppl and have fun. Anyone interested? Include a photo thanks."
Straight to the point: -- I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX - 33 - These ones kill me. I think that some men believe that the reverse psychology will work or something. Like he'll lull a woman into a false sense of security and then she'll fall under his lusty spell. This guy wants to watch a DVD together, and if there's chemistry - great! But not necessary. he's so clever!
Hello, Clarice... You: intelligent, goal-oriented, sensual, focused... - 29 - This is an okay ad, although it's not for me. He seems too Mr. Sensitive Ponytail Man for me, but it's the headline that gets me. Why "hello, Clarice"? That's just creepy, b/c when Lector says that, it gives me the willies.
Normal Dude Looking For a Slut - 28 - Says it all, doesn't it? And who says there are no men to date?!
This is the first line of his ad: "yeah its pretty true...I own a luxary condo, luxary sports car, earn 6 figure salary....pretty good looking!!!" and he goes onto say: "But I dont want someone to like me for that or e-mail me for that." So why did you say it?
This one just made me laugh for some reason, mostly the last part of the sentence: "I'm a slender caucasian atheist, a working professional, educated actor/singer/songwriter, gamer geek, and I like to drink beer." I used to fall for that poetry shit, then I got over it. And I'm not entirely convinced that this description isn't code for skinny geek who just got out of school.
Velvet had an interesting idea in the comments of the last post...I'm thinking about it. Hey - everyone I know seems to find something lasting on Match.com, so maybe I just need someone else's mojo and/or judgement for awhile...
I have a 'what is attractive' post in the works, and I'm thinking of using Craigslist examples. But I know I wouldn't want people discussing if I was hot or not, so I don't know if that's a karmically correct thing to do...still thinking.
* If anyone knows this song lyric, I will love you forever.
F Cup or Larger - One word: ouch. That chick definitely doesn't run, or if she does, I'd like to know where she gets her bras.
I want a fire sign for fancy dinners and romance. have a great palette - This 30 year old says he's unpretentious and has an ego but he's self deprecating. Oh, and he'll be taking his dates to Citronelle, CityZen, etc. But she must be an Aries or Sagittarius! Important quality, definitely. Kassyk, my current favorite Sagittarius, if you go out with him, I want a full report!
I always see this guy post on CL - he seems good looking enough. So I can't imagine that he's not getting any hits, although he's adverse to the comma: "Hello I just got out of a relationship so I'm just looking to meet ppl and have fun. Anyone interested? Include a photo thanks."
Straight to the point: -- I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX - 33 - These ones kill me. I think that some men believe that the reverse psychology will work or something. Like he'll lull a woman into a false sense of security and then she'll fall under his lusty spell. This guy wants to watch a DVD together, and if there's chemistry - great! But not necessary. he's so clever!
Hello, Clarice... You: intelligent, goal-oriented, sensual, focused... - 29 - This is an okay ad, although it's not for me. He seems too Mr. Sensitive Ponytail Man for me, but it's the headline that gets me. Why "hello, Clarice"? That's just creepy, b/c when Lector says that, it gives me the willies.
Normal Dude Looking For a Slut - 28 - Says it all, doesn't it? And who says there are no men to date?!
This is the first line of his ad: "yeah its pretty true...I own a luxary condo, luxary sports car, earn 6 figure salary....pretty good looking!!!" and he goes onto say: "But I dont want someone to like me for that or e-mail me for that." So why did you say it?
This one just made me laugh for some reason, mostly the last part of the sentence: "I'm a slender caucasian atheist, a working professional, educated actor/singer/songwriter, gamer geek, and I like to drink beer." I used to fall for that poetry shit, then I got over it. And I'm not entirely convinced that this description isn't code for skinny geek who just got out of school.
Velvet had an interesting idea in the comments of the last post...I'm thinking about it. Hey - everyone I know seems to find something lasting on Match.com, so maybe I just need someone else's mojo and/or judgement for awhile...
I have a 'what is attractive' post in the works, and I'm thinking of using Craigslist examples. But I know I wouldn't want people discussing if I was hot or not, so I don't know if that's a karmically correct thing to do...still thinking.
* If anyone knows this song lyric, I will love you forever.
You'd think someone who enjoyed luxury items would know how to spell luxury.
I feel for you, but I've occasionally browsed (for entertainment purposes only) the women on match.com, and they're not much better. What I have learned is that no one knows how to spell definitely (e.g. "definately"). Also, everyone loves Dan Brown. And wants a man who is laid back and doesn't take himself too seiously but is ambitious and passionate (wtf?!?).
Anyone who reads Edna St. Vincent Millay for fun is too "feely" for you.
Have you ever read that book "He's just not into you?" I just finished reading it last night and I was really cracking up.
You should read it - just for pure entertainment purposes. The girls in that book are pretty pathetic and so are the guys!!
I personally love the meat of Mr. "Normal Dude Looking for a Slut"'s ad: "Oooooohhhh, I need a dirty woman."
yeah, because that will get you a quality woman
While the desire to break out of such a depressing routine is understandable, it might not be the best idea to go looking for romance (or whatever) right now.
Seems like a time when you might end up doing some personal evaluations and quite possibly change a bit. Again not the ideal time to be hooking up for the first time.
For whatever the advice of some random internet asshole is worth, you might just try to take some time to be around your established friends right now. At least they are more likely to understand that this is not the "usual" you but the "stressed out and thinking about mortality" you.
Medicine by Bob Schneider
http://www.tsrocks.com/b/bob_schneider_texts/medicine.html
Got a heart don't work so good
Cause it don't feel the way that I think that it should
It pumps and pounds and gets some down
Any time you come around
Baby baby let me in
I need me some of your sweet medicine
You got the cure for what is ailing me
Only your sweet love can set me free yeah
Was feeling strange so I went to see
A man who had himself a medical degree
Said "in my 20 years it's lead me to believe
There ain't no pill that's gonna get you relief"
Baby baby let me in
I need me some of your sweet medicine
You got the cure for what is ailing me
Only your sweet love can set me free yeah
I've been around I've been here and I've been there
I thought I found true love but it was just underwear
Made me wonder what love might be
Well I was blind but now I see
Baby baby let me in
I need me some of your sweet medicine
You got the cure for what is ailing me
Only your sweet love can set me free yeah
Only your sweet love can set me free yeah
Only your sweet love can set me free yeah
Set me free
Set me free oh
Set me free
first Google result, btw
Here's your song:
http://www.tsrocks.com/b/bob_
schneider_texts/medicine.html
It's not bad but my favorite is still "Your Phone's Off The Hook But You're Not" by X. Cheers.
rcr - my god, the misspelling of definitely drives NUTS. namely that word, i don't know why. LOL on the dan brown thing. that's why they let me in, b/c i've read all of brown's stuff. laid back yet ambitious = has a job above fry cook but will take her shit. ;-)
AJT - you totally get me.
carmen - oh yes, i've read it. it's mostly ridiculous, but it has a good overall theme once you wade through the bullshit phrases and letters.
ashburnite - i know. he's a CATCH!
tlaloc - oh absolutely. this is why i'm just looking (and mocking). i'm not activating any memberships in another window. and remember? i'm american idol's for the time being.
anon - i know the lyrics! looking up lyrics is cheating. no love for you.
Raoul Bova is HOT! Thanks, I now have a muse for my next dream ;)
Woo hoo. I can moonlight as an online dating pimpette! I think we'll need a panel though, sort of like American Idol. I get to be Simon! I think FreckledK needs to be on it too.
After all these years of dating and online dating, there's one thing I learned: there is no formula that works. I know people who swear by match, and I know people who have no luck on it at all. I know others who liked Yahoo Personals, and others who hated it and thought everyone was a "player." Basically I stopped "weeding out" beyond a few basic characteristics and started going out with anyone who seemed like I could get through a date with easily. This means that something like "Die hard Trekkie" would end up putting that person into the weed out category.
I'm not sure CL is the place to find a nice guy, but, I will tell you that right now, today, at least one nice guy posted an ad on CL. It's just a matter of finding it.
And to RCR's point, I HATE the "definately" spelling. I always want to read that as "defiantly."
I have posted on Cl before and I know tons of guys who have also. This is fact:
If a girl posts on CL, even something totally creepy, she will get over 50 responses
10 will get a response email.
10 will offer money for sex.
10 will be too short.
You will end up going on a dates with 5.
You will feel torn between 2 for a week. Juggle.
You will choose one and it will last for two weeks.
If a guy posts on CL, he will get under 5 responses, meet with the least fat one, and end up getting head.
I am not making this up. It is statistical FACT.
I'll be on the panel, as long as I'm not "The Paula." Maybe I can be "Special Guest Star Jewel?"
I had to look up Dan Brown to see who RCR was referring to. I'm more of a Hornby girl....definitely.
I think Internet Dating is icky. Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way and meet our matches at our Local? I wouldn't be here today if my Mom wasn't drunk and hormonally-enhanced.
And I wouldn't be here today if my parents didn't go on that ski trip with the rest of the Greeks at their church... So, um, what are you saying FK? Huh?
Only that I prefer to meet my men the way my mother met hers --- drunk, on a barstool.
dcvita - glad to help!
velvet - i had the best success with match.com before, and most people i know that had an online dating adventure work out was through match. as for CL - is your statement like a challenge? find the nice guy? LOL
respective minority - i think those generalizations are mostly true, but i know men who yield a lot of responses. and my experiences don't really match with what you're saying, but as a generalization i'll agree with most of it.
velvet and freckledk - i'm down for it. why not? one of these days when i'm actually able to have dinner with you guys, we can figure it out...and k, you're always special. ;-)
freckledk and velvet - i'm kinda meh on the bar scene for meeting someone. but i do know a few people who have met in bars and their relationship is more than just sex.
I think CL is for the purpose of just dating. And then you'll stumble on a nice guy. Match is more of a crapshoot b/c you naturally weed people out on things in their profiles that you may not have known prior to the date.
Anyway, I would like to add to the list including the misspelling of "definately" the misuse of the words "lose" vs. "loose." Just saw it again and it makes me ILL!
That's all. Today I wore eyeshadow. I'm branching out!!
velvet - i think you're right. dating and hookups, although i'm sure there are a few normal ones in there as well.
i'll add your and you're. and dude, just spell out YOU ARE. is it that much harder?
woohoo for eyeshadow! i'm proud. :-)
Sites like match and nerve are less of a crapshoot because you know what you're (your)getting into from the start and because most people using them have some intention of meeting and dating, whereas CL is completely random. It's free, there is no barrier to entry, and it attracts a very wide swath of the population, from rocket scientists and hot guys looking to get laid to pimply guys living in mommy's basement--and their cheating dads. Yet in spite of it all (or perhaps because of it) I get a kick out of the kooks on CL. Unlike the cookie cutter boxes one checks on match (you like to travel too? shocking? you go out AND you stay in and watch a DVD? Stop the Presses!) CL occasionally produces a gem amongst the desperate seething mass of humanity. You just have to be willing to wade through a lot of crap to find him/her.
Unlike sites like match and nerve, there is no barrier to entry on CL. It's free, one doesn't have to post pictures or reveal information about oneself. And it's much less cookie cutter than all those little match boxes (You like to travel? Shocking! You sometimes go out but also like to watch a dvd at home? Stop the Presses!!!) As such, CL attracts a wide swath of folks from rocket scientists and hot guys looking to get laid to dorky 15 yo in their mommy's basement--and their married dads looking to cheat. Yet in spite of it all--or perhaps because of it--I love CL. Not only does it provide hours upon hours of entertainment (truly, it is a haven for those who've never suffered a moment of self-reflection in their lives), but occasionally one can find a rare gem amongst the seething, desperate sea of (in)huMANity. Or at least have fun trying.
sorry about double post--my dog ate my computer
anyway, I couldn't resist this one, perfect for those of you who like a challenge!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/271357264.html
well said, urban urchins. that's exactly true b/c the match ones, while mostly well written, are cookie cutter (my post on that one is coming up soon). CL is like dating comics. case in point, the one you posted. LOL could you imagine trying to date THAT guy?!
I had a good experience with a site called lavalife. I don't know if it is still around, though. This was about three years ago.
at least people don't beat around the bush and waste you're time.....and make-up ;)
I love Craigslist! D.C.'s are so much better and I always read them...
here's a great one from today:
I need an intellectual slut... - 42
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Reply to: pers-271746168@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-01, 11:03AM EST
Tell me you are an intellectual slut who is full of knowledge and wit, with eyes like an angel, a devilish mind and a body built for sex.
Tell me you come off like a woman who is respectable and lady-like, but really you can't wait to swallow a man whole, chew him up and and giggle at what you have just done.
Tell me these things and my adoration you will have truly won. I won't worship you or be your lap dog, what I will do is be your peer and challenge that brainy head and that heady intoxicating personality that makes me want to brace your arms and back against a wall to let you know who is in charge.
You know what I am talking about, haven't you met someone like this before? He drove you mad with desire didn't he?
If you are attached, fine. All the better, we can make it special and very discreet.
I am decent looking, Northern and Southern European background. I'll send you a pic. I like petite and demur but filled with venom.
creeperific
I changed my mind. This is "I threw up in my mouth a little bit" bad:
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/271715742.html
Hi,
I found this great site with lots of weekly competitions, any anyone is able to enter.
Femail.com.au competitions
Ciao